Thursday – Unemployed, Chasing My Dreams
Third Attempt – Day 3 of My “30-Day No Alcohol Challenge”
6:43 AM
Today started on a positive note with Allan bringing breakfast in bed. It’s always heartwarming to see him sober, and he’s so thoughtful when he is.
6:55 AM
As I sipped my morning coffee, it dawned on me that today is my last payday from the lobster cannery. Panic set in, and I couldn’t help but worry about chasing my dreams and the financial risk involved.
7:02 AM
Anxiety got the better of me, leading me to the bathroom. On the bright side, my health has improved during this third attempt at sobriety. My digestion is better, my hands less shaky, and my face less puffy. But finances are the looming cloud on an otherwise sunny day.
It’s time to focus on making money, and my new office is the living room at my parents’ fishing camp.
9:34 AM
My boyfriend and I just had this wild conversation about the house we plan to build on our land. Can you believe it? We’re dreaming big! Instead of being hungover or arguing over petty stuff, we’re dreaming about our future home.
So, picture this: he’s all excited, talking about setting up a solar panel array and a permanent greenhouse. Classic him! Always thinking about sustainability. And me? Well, I can’t help but envision a pool with sand all around it. I mean, who wouldn’t want a slice of paradise in their backyard, right?
The funny thing is, we’re not exactly swimming in money. In fact, we’re almost six-figures in debt. You’d think we’d be more worried, but nope! We’re dreaming like we’re on the verge of becoming millionaires. It’s either pure craziness, or maybe, just maybe, this is how people become successful. You know, having a dream and then actually trying to make it happen.
I think there’s something magical about dreaming. It’s like getting a dose of excitement injected straight into your veins. It hit me that maybe this is the missing piece in my life right now – having dreams and goals to work toward. Taking that big dream and breaking it down into smaller, achievable milestones.
It got me thinking about my passion for art. You know, deep down, I’ve always wanted to be a full-time artist. And honestly, I believe I’ve got the talent to make something great. So, here’s the crazy part – what if I chase my dream of becoming a renowned artist and, along the way, we build our dream home too? Our land could become a canvas for our dreams!
I can picture it now: a stunning house surrounded by vibrant gardens, perhaps even with sculptures and art installations I create myself. A place so beautiful, it’s almost surreal – a true paradise that reflects our personalities and passions.
You know what else this dreaming has done? It’s rekindled that long-lost spark of drive within me. I can feel that fire inside, pushing me to explore my artistic potential and turn my passion into something real.
So, here’s to dreams, big and small! Here’s to the excitement of what could be, and the journey of making it happen. I’ll take that crazy dreamer label if it means bringing more joy and purpose into my life.
3:31 PM
Allan came home with less alcohol today. Is my determination to quit rubbing off on him? I hope so.
6:36 PM
The heat is unbearable, and I feel like I’m melting. I did some work, tried to eat healthily, but the weather drained my energy. We decided to do chores, this afternoon, to enjoy the AC the car and the grocery store. I want to do more, but exhaustion is taking over.
7:34 PM
Surprisingly, I had no major cravings today. Maybe quitting the lobster cannery job and focusing on my dreams are helping me stay strong. Hmmm…
8:27 PM
Allan is outside having his nightly dose of beer and liquor. He mentioned something intriguing though – he wants to wean off the beer and hard stuff. I can’t help but wonder if the alcohol is talking or if he’s genuinely considering it. I mean, even if he never becomes completely sober, we seriously need to get our finances in check. So, I’m crossing my fingers that he follows through with his plan to stick to half a pint and a couple of tall cans. Budgeting is essential, and we both know that.
Meanwhile, I’ve been on a wild YouTube adventure tonight. I ended up watching this video called “What Alcohol Does to Your Body, Brain & Health” by the Huberman Lab Podcast (below). Oh boy, it was eye-opening! I might not have grasped every scientific detail, but the main message hit me like a ton of bricks – alcohol is downright poison. Seriously, I had no idea it could wreak such havoc on our bodies and brains.
As I lay here in bed, watching that video, I can’t help but feel a mix of emotions. I’m scared of what alcohol has done to us, to Allan, and to myself. I’m angry that it took me so long to truly understand the extent of its harm. But I’m also hopeful. Hopeful that Allan’s small steps toward cutting down might lead to more significant changes. And hopeful that I can stay on this path of sobriety too.
I’m planning to finish watching the rest of that video tomorrow when I need a break from painting. It’s a fascinating yet terrifying wake-up call. I mean, it’s already got over 4 million views in just 10 months, so I know I’m not alone in being shocked by its content.
Until tomorrow,
– That Anonymous Artist
Supplementary Info: Alcohol Help
If you or someone you know is struggling with alcohol abuse or addiction, it’s essential to remember that help and support are available. Alcohol use disorder (AUD) can have severe consequences on both mental health and physical well-being, affecting not only the person struggling but also their loved ones. Acknowledging the problem is the first step towards recovery. There are many options and resources to find the support needed to regain control over alcohol consumption and lead a healthier life.
One of the most widely recognized support groups for those battling alcoholism is Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). However, a quick search online and you’ll find many support groups that provide a wide range of services, including free helplines to provide information and guidance. They understand the challenges faced by those dealing with alcohol addiction and offer a safe space for sharing experiences and receiving advice from others who have been through similar journeys.
If you’re concerned about your own alcohol consumption or that of someone else, seeking professional help is crucial. Your local doctor or a mental health counselor can provide valuable advice and referral to specialized alcohol treatment services. These services may include counseling, substance misuse treatment programs, and a variety of recovery options tailored to your specific needs.
Remember, it’s never too late to find help and start your journey toward recovery. Reducing the stigma around alcohol disorder and misuse by providing support and understanding to those who are seeking help. By offering a helping hand, we can create a more compassionate and informed community, where those struggling with alcoholism can find the assistance they need to overcome their problems.