Monday – Day Off… perhaps forever?
Third Attempt – Day 0 of My “30-Day No Alcohol Challenge”
It’s been a tough couple of days, and I need to get my thoughts out.
I’ve tried and failed the “30-Day No Alcohol Challenge” twice now. The boredom and frustration with my job at the lobster cannery are driving me crazy. But then, last Thursday, the big boss announced that they’re shutting down the cannery within a week.
Shocking news for all of us.
Right now, I’m on call for work, and I’m praying that we won’t be required to go in. I can’t stand that job anymore, and maybe this closure will be the push I need to stop drinking.
The problem is, Allan (my boyfriend) is also out of a job, and we don’t have enough hours for employment insurance. This whole fishing community seems to be struggling. We have a credit line, but that won’t last for long. If we don’t spend too much money and nothing goes wrong, it might last us 14 weeks.
This morning, I’ve been trying to work on my paintings, but my anxiety is off the charts. Plus, right now, Allan is drinking and is super talkative, which isn’t helping me concentrate on my work.
I’m disappointed in myself for not focusing on my paintings yesterday and just drinking and sleeping instead. But hey, maybe this financial struggle will force me to finally commit to not drinking for at least 30 days and work towards becoming a successful independent artist.
Oops, I did it again.
My boyfriend’s excitement and chatter got to me, and I had a few sips of beer to calm my nerves. It’s hard to be sober around him when he’s drunk and loud.
I really need to find a way to stay focused on my work and to stay sober!!!
I feel like a loser.
Dealing with a drunk person can be quite challenging, so I decided to have a drink myself to lighten my mood. I know it’s not the best way to cope, but sometimes it’s just hard to stay sober when someone else is intoxicated.
As I took a sip, I glanced at our dwindling alcohol supply – only 15 beers left and a pint of whiskey. Tomorrow, I’ve committed myself to 30 days without drinking any alcohol. That’s probably a good thing, considering how things have been going lately.
The issue on my mind right now is the lobster cannery job. I’ve been working there for nine years, and it feels like it’s taking over my life. I’m torn between the desire to quit and the practicality of needing them as a reference for other job opportunities. But what I truly yearn for is the freedom of being self-employed. I dream of making a living from my artwork, and the thought of it brings a glimmer of excitement and motivation.
One thing that bothers me is the way the lobster cannery dictates my schedule, leaving me with no control over my time. I feel like my life is always on hold because I need to be on-call. It’s time for a change, and I’m ready to take charge of my own destiny. Being self-employed would mean breaking free from these shackles and finally having the freedom to make plans and live life on my own terms.
But then doubt creeps in. I find myself questioning whether I’ll be able to make enough money from my artwork. It’s a common trap we fall into – predicting our own failure before even giving ourselves a chance to succeed. Today, though, I’m trying to flip the script in my mind. Instead of focusing on the potential for failure, I should ask myself, “How can I turn my passion for painting into a sustainable source of income within the next 14 weeks?”
I must stop underestimating myself and my abilities. It’s time to believe in my talent, to give my creativity the chance to shine, and to put in the hard work to achieve my dreams. I’ve spent enough time being held back by doubt and uncertainty.
So, here’s to the start of my 30-day challenge (well… starting tomorrow) and the beginning of my journey to becoming a self-employed artist. It won’t be easy, and I’ll encounter obstacles along the way, but I’m determined to persevere and create a life that brings me joy and fulfilment.
That Anonymous Artist
Supplementary Info: Alcohol Problem
When it comes to alcohol problems, it is crucial to educate ourselves about the impacts of excessive alcohol consumption. Alcohol abuse, also known as alcohol use disorder (AUD), affects many people worldwide, leading to alcohol addiction and dependence. The effects of alcoholism extend beyond the individual struggling with the disorder; it also impacts their family and social circles. Recognizing the signs of alcohol dependency early on can pave the way for seeking help and achieving sobriety.
Binge drinking is one form of alcohol abuse that has been a concern in recent years. It involves consuming large quantities of drinks within a short period, leading to adverse health consequences. The liver, being a vital organ responsible for processing alcohol, often bears the brunt of alcohol abuse, and long-term excessive drinking can cause serious liver problems.
If you or someone you know has been grappling with alcohol-related problems, remember that you are not alone in this battle. Seeking professional help and support can make a significant difference in regaining control over your life. Remember, alcohol abuse is not a sign of weakness but rather a complex disorder that requires understanding and treatment. Prioritizing your health and well-being over alcohol consumption can lead to a path of recovery and a brighter future for you and your loved ones.