Tuesday – Day Off
Third Attempt – Day 1 of My “30-Day No Alcohol Challenge”
10:02 AM
Today is my first day being sober… again. And, Allan mentioned that he’s going to join me in going without drinking alcohol for a month… again.
Our lives are a broken record.
I woke up feeling nauseous, dizzy, and completely exhausted. The anxiety kept me up most of the night, which happens when I come down from heavy drinking. Meanwhile, Allan is cranky because he’s coming down from his binge drinking.
As I type on my laptop, I notice that the weird double twitch in my hand is back. I’ll try to press on a key once, but my hand involuntarily presses on a key twice. It’s frustrating, but I guess it’s just another thing I have to deal with.
I had planned on working on my paintings today, but I’m feeling so unwell. Maybe I’ll focus on some easier tasks for now and leave the more challenging ones for tomorrow.
With us being out of a job now, maybe it’ll be easier to stick to it.
11:27 AM
Guess what?
This past Saturday was indeed my last day at work! I’m finally free from the lobster cannery!
It’s a strange mix of relief and fear, though. Losing my job after being there for nine years is terrifying. I need to figure out how to make money somehow.
The uncertainty is overwhelming.
11:41 AM
The anxiety I’m feeling right now is unreal. Why do I keep putting myself through this? I think the anxiety is from a combination of alcohol withdrawal and the reality of losing my job.
My body feels slightly shivery, like I’m out in the cold. The waves of anxiety come and go, and my jaw feels tight. Meanwhile, Allan seems to be in a much better mood now, busy cleaning the house.
Maybe I should start applying for other jobs as a secure option. But deep down, I know I’ll probably end up just as unhappy there. My true dream is to be an independent artist, and that’s what I want to pursue.
12:15 PM
So, I made a deal with Allan.
- He’ll handle most of the house chores, fish in the lake, and tend to the garden to reduce our food costs.
- Meanwhile, I’ll focus on monetizing my artwork online.
I’m giving myself ten weeks to kick ass and make this dream a reality.If it doesn’t work out, we still have four weeks of money from our credit line to find another job.
I’m nervous and excited at the same time. It’s a big risk, but I have to try.
1:23 PM
I’ve been working on my paintings but the anxiety is still overwhelming. However, from my past attempts at the 30-day no alcohol challenge, I know that the anxiety won’t kill me.
Most of this hangxiety should be gone by tomorrow morning, unless some of it is just the fear of losing my job, chasing my dream, and not having any financial security.
This is the biggest risk I’ve ever taken in my life.
6:37 PM
Despite feeling hungover, I worked on my paintings all day.
I should be proud of myself, but I can’t shake the lingering hangover. Nothing seems to fix it, so I’ll be heading to bed soon to watch some videos and hopefully fall asleep.
To be honest, this time around, with my third attempt at quitting drinking for thirty days, I’m not as hopeful and positive as before. I know I need to quit drinking because it’s harming my body and my dreams. But after failing so many times to quit, doubts creep in.
I mean, I’ve been an alcoholic for seventeen years no matter what I tried!
However, I’m hoping that losing my dull job will give me the push I need to succeed this time. Maybe pursuing my dream, setting goals, and achieving them will get me excited about something other than my next drink.
It’s a risk, but I have to try.
Time for bed,
– That Anonymous Artist
Supplementary Info: Day 1 No Alcohol
Congratulations on taking the first step towards an alcohol-free life! Deciding to stop drinking can lead to significant improvements in your health and overall well-being. Although it might be challenging, especially for those who were moderate to heavy drinkers, remember that you’re not alone in this journey. Many people have successfully achieved sobriety and transformed their lives for the better.
During the first few hours and days after you stop drinking, you may experience alcohol withdrawal symptoms. These can include sweating, shaking, and increased heart rate. Although it’s important to stay strong and resist the temptation to have a drink during this time, it’s also crucial to recognize when you might need professional help. For some people, alcohol withdrawal symptoms can be severe, leading to a condition called delirium tremens. Those who have been heavy drinkers for a long time or who consume a large number of drinks per day are at a higher risk of experiencing these dangerous symptoms. If you’re unsure about how to manage your alcohol withdrawal symptoms, seeking treatment and support from healthcare professionals can be extremely beneficial.
As you progress on your journey to sobriety, it’s important to also take care of your physical and mental health. Alcohol has significant effects on the brain and can damage various organs, including the liver. By cutting out alcohol, you’ll give your body the opportunity to recover and improve its health over time. Remember that everyone’s experience with recovery is unique, and it’s crucial to be patient with yourself during this process. You might find it helpful to find alternative ways to cope with stress and emotions, such as engaging in physical activities or seeking support from friends and loved ones.
Although you’ll no longer be drinking, it’s important to remain vigilant about your environment and the people you spend time with. Surround yourself with those who support your decision and understand the importance of your recovery. You don’t have to feel like you’re missing out on social occasions; there are many alcohol-free alternatives, such as mocktails or non-alcoholic beer and wine, that you can enjoy during gatherings.
In conclusion, stopping drinking is a brave and important step towards a healthier and more fulfilling life. Your sobriety journey will require dedication, control, and determination, but the rewards will be well worth it. As you continue on this path, remember that you have the power to shape your future and be an inspiration to others who may be struggling with alcohol. Stay committed to your recovery, take it one day at a time, and you’ll soon see the positive effects that a life without alcohol can bring. You’ve got this!