Monday – Unemployed, Chasing My Dreams.. and Getting Stronger
Fifth Attempt – Day 6 of My “30-Day Experiment”
At 7 AM, Allan and I started the day with a super early trip to the gas station. It was like a ghost town out there, which is perfect because we’re still laying low. It felt like we had the whole world to ourselves.
The guy at the gas station counter recognized us from that wild altercation we had the other day when that woman thought it was a good idea to block our SUV with her body. Yep, apparently the whole staff witnessed that epic showdown on the security footage. But hey, at least we have video evidence now. At least we’re not alone in this bizarre adventure; the gas station staff are our witnesses!
Today has been a rollercoaster of focus and newfound determination. I’ve been trying to concentrate on my paintings all morning to make some money, but my mind kept drifting to my new obsession: working out. It’s as if my brain is playing tug-of-war, and the focus rope keeps getting yanked towards exercise.
Allan and I brisk walked twice today, and then I did some cardio all by myself. That ten-minute cardio session kicked my butt and nearly left me gasping for breath. At least I can say I’m getting my heart pumping, right?
Surprisingly, my fixation on working out is doing wonders for curbing my alcohol cravings. Who would’ve thought? It think there are two big reasons why this fitness kick is helping me out.
- First, all that exercise is boosting my dopamine levels, and whatever other chemicals are involved in that magic process, making me feel energetic and, dare I say, hyper. It’s like my body is rewarding me for pushing myself.
- Second, and more importantly, focusing on exercise and how I’m going to learn self-defense in the future keeps my mind busy, and I’m not constantly thinking about alcohol.
I can see the logic in it now. Why would I risk messing up my progress and feeling lousy just for a fleeting moment of alcohol-induced “fun”?
Exercise is like a win-win situation: not only am I getting healthier and in better shape, but I’m also deterring myself from drinking. Besides, I have big dreams of feeling confident and being able to defend myself if needed (fingers crossed, it never happens), and boozing it up won’t get me there.
I think that’s the key to my newfound determination: it’s not just a casual “I SHOULD quit drinking.” No, it’s a bold and unwavering “I NEED to stop drinking.” My financial stability is at stake, and my ability to defend myself depends on this decision. In other words, if I keep downing alcohol, I’ll be broke, out of shape, and vulnerable in situations where my physical well-being could be at risk.
Enough about that now; time to focus on my artwork. I’m going to try to channel this newfound determination into my creativity and make something amazing. Who knows, maybe my journey toward a healthier and alcohol-free life will be reflected in my art too.
About 15 minutes ago, Allan came up to me and said, “You wanna go for a walk?”. Now, when Allan asks me something, I don’t hesitate. He’s had his fair share of struggles with alcohol cravings, so when he wants to go for a walk, I’m all in!
I literally jumped off the couch, left my laptop, put my sneakers on, and we were out the door in no time. You never know what someone might be going through, and I didn’t want him to face any temptations alone. Plus, it’s always nice to get some fresh air, stretch your legs, and have a good chat.
I just hit a wall of exhaustion, but I resisted the siren call of a nap. I knew it’d ruin my sleep tonight, so I tried something wild: a 10-minute aerobic workout. Voila! It was like a jolt of electricity. My work mojo is back! And the alcohol cravings? So far, so good! Fingers crossed for this streak to keep going!
I just heard some shocking news about a two-vehicle accident in our town. It’s unbelievable! Apparently, the driver who caused it was under the influence of something and had an illegal firearm in his car.
What in the world is happening? This used to be such a lovely community, and now it feels like there’s an increase in risky behavior. It’s times like these when I feel like just becoming a hermit. I’m pretty much there, anyway.
Oops, lost focus again! I found myself watching self-defense videos instead of working.
We need money to live! Time to get back on track!
I can’t believe I’m still awake at this hour. It’s been a while since I stayed up this late. I usually crash around 8 PM, but tonight’s different. I’ve been engrossed in a book called “How to Quit Alcohol in 50 Days” by Simon Chapple (Amazon). It’s funny how life comes full circle. I used to be an avid reader back in my teens and 20s before my addiction to alcohol took over.
As I delve into the book, I can’t help but feel a mix of emotions. There’s a sense of nostalgia as I remember the joy I once found in reading. I was good at it, too! But now, my focus and concentration seem to be all over the place. I wonder if it’s because of my past drinking behavior, or perhaps it’s just been so long since I’ve read regularly that my brain needs some rewiring. Is it possible for me to get back to my old reading habits after 17 long years? I sure hope so!
It’s strange how priorities can shift over time. Drinking alcohol took precedence over so many other things in my life, including something as simple and rewarding as reading. I remember how the early days of addiction seemed fun, and it felt like a social thing to do. Little did I know how it would consume me and take away precious moments from my life.
But hey, it’s never too late to make a change, right? Reading this book and actively trying to quit alcohol is my way of taking back control. I want to break free from the chains of addiction and reclaim the joys that I let slip away.
In a way, it feels like a journey of rediscovery—rediscovering my love for books, rekindling my passion for painting, and reconnecting with myself without the haze of alcohol clouding my thoughts.
I must admit; it’s not an easy process. It requires facing my demons, acknowledging my past mistakes, and confronting the challenges that lie ahead. But I’m determined to stay strong and take it one step at a time. After all, I didn’t become an addict overnight, so I shouldn’t expect recovery to be a swift and easy road either.
Anyway, going to read a bit more until I start falling asleep.
Until next time, future me! Stay strong!
– That Anonymous Artist
Supplementary Info: No Alcohol 30 Day Challenge
Congratulations on considering the 30-day alcohol challenge! Embarking on an alcohol-free month can be one of the best decisions you’ll make for yourself, and it can be both challenging and rewarding. During these 30 days, you’ll have the opportunity to reset not only your alcohol consumption but also your mindset and habits surrounding drinking.
Many people find that the first few days of the alcohol challenge are the most difficult, as they may experience withdrawal symptoms or cravings. However, as the days go by, you’ll likely notice significant benefits. Your liver will thank you for the break, and you may even find yourself with more energy, better sleep, and a clearer mind.
One of the most significant benefits of the 30-day alcohol challenge (e.g. Dry January) is gaining a better understanding of your relationship with alcohol. You’ll have the chance to reflect on whether you’ve been using alcohol as a coping mechanism or simply out of habit. This self-awareness can lead to long-term changes in your drinking days, as you may decide to drink less even after the challenge is over.
To make your journey smoother, consider using a printable tracker to keep yourself accountable and track your progress. You can note how you feel every day, whether you experienced any challenging moments, and even jot down some positive outcomes. Remember, it doesn’t matter whether you’re an occasional drinker or a daily wine enthusiast; the 30-day alcohol challenge is open to everyone.
If you find it difficult during the challenge, give yourself the permission to take it one day at a time. Focus on the present moment and the benefits you’re experiencing, rather than worrying about completing the full month. And even if you slip up during the challenge, it’s essential not to be too hard on yourself. What matters most is the effort you put into this program and the insights you gain about yourself and your relationship with alcohol.
So, whether you decide to start your alcohol-free month tomorrow or at a later date, remember that you have the power to make positive changes for yourself. The no alcohol challenge can be a transformative experience that will help you discover a healthier, sober, and more vibrant version of yourself. Giving yourself this 30-day gift is a step towards a longer, healthier, and happier life.