Sunday – Day Off
Second Attempt – Day 0 of Our “30-Day No Alcohol Challenge”
I’m sitting here, sipping on a beer to ease the “hangxiety” that’s been plaguing me since Friday evening. It’s been a non-stop drinking spree, and now I find myself in need of some sleep.
In seven hours, Allan (my boyfriend) and I are helping my parents clean out their basement. It’s going to be a challenging day, but I hope it’ll help distract me from the turmoil inside.
My head is pounding, and I’m feeling the aftermath of last night’s drinking spree. I don’t even know how much sleep I got, but it definitely wasn’t enough. It’s safe to say I’m feeling like absolute crap right now.
I mean, seriously, why do I keep doing this to myself? Drinking until I’m a mess and waking up with this awful hangover is NOT my idea of fun. Yet, for some reason, I keep falling into this trap, thinking it’s going to be a good time.
It’s time for a change.
Today has been a mix of emotions, to say the least. This morning, Allan and I went over to my parents’ place to help out, and it was nice to lend a hand. But I have to admit, I’m not feeling great about myself right now.
You know, I messed up big time on Friday night. I attempted the 30-day no alcohol challenge, made it to day nine, but things went south real quick. I got more than drunk and did things I deeply regret. I hurt Allan, both physically and emotionally, and it’s eating me up inside. That’s not who I am when I’m sober, and I can’t believe I let myself get to that point.
We had a long talk in the car today on the way to my parents’, and I apologized to him. Allan, being the understanding person he is, told me to stop dwelling on it, but I can’t shake off the guilt and shame.
The thing is, he’s also struggled with alcohol in the past, and he gets it. We both know how liquor can turn you into someone you’re not, and that’s something we need to confront together.
But you know what?
In a weird twist of events, he’s decided to join me on the 30-day no alcohol challenge! I was surprised when he said it, but deep down, I know it’s the right decision. I can’t do this alone. Trying to get sober while he’s drinking around me would be incredibly tough, and I don’t think I have that kind of strength right now.
We both agree that alcohol turns us into idiots and our relationship into turmoil. But when we’re both sober, we have something beautiful. It’s that realization that’s pushing us to take this challenge together. Maybe we can be each other’s support through this tough journey.
Honestly, after the way I behaved on Friday, I’m starting to think that quitting alcohol entirely, for the rest of my life, might be the best choice for me. These feelings of guilt and heartache are almost too much to bear. I feel like I’ve hit rock bottom, and it’s time to make a change.
I know it won’t be easy. The road ahead is probably filled with challenges and temptations, but I’m hopeful that taking this step will lead to a better version of myself. I can’t let alcohol control my life like this.
As I sit here, typing with shaky hands, I’m reminded of the consequences of my choices. Hand tremors have returned, and my emotions fluctuate between anxiety and depression. The weight of guilt is suffocating, but I’m trying to forgive myself. It’s a challenging journey.
Surprisingly, today has presented a chance for me to embrace something new. I found myself weed whacking and mowing the lawn at my parents’ fishing camp (where Allan and I are currently living). It’s the first time I’ve ever done such tasks, and to my surprise, I thoroughly enjoyed it.
And, for a small lawn, it took me hours.
The reason behind this lawn-mowing extravaganza is a mix of reasons, some of which involve our old nemesis, alcoholism. Due to our lack of motivation brought on by this pesky issue, our temporary home has been a bit of a mess, lawn included. I looked out, and the grass was literally two to three feet high – a jungle in our own front yard!
But hey, never one to back down from a challenge, my boyfriend took up the weed whacking task. He started to clear the overgrown mess, and I thought, “Hey, I want to give this a shot too!” And so, with newfound enthusiasm, I grabbed that weed whacker like a boss. Surprisingly, I quite enjoyed it! I felt like a warrior battling against the wild grass blades. Chopping them down one by one, until victory was within reach.
After weed whacking, I thought it would be wise to tackle the lawn with the mower, but something unexpected happened. Our chatty extrovert of a neighbor, Mr. Boat-Enthusiast, decided it was the perfect time to cruise around the lake.
Now, I know what you’re thinking – what’s wrong with a friendly neighbor dropping by for a chat?
Well, let me tell you that small talk and I are not the best of friends. I’m an introvert at heart, and while I appreciate friendly neighbors, I tend to run and hide when the opportunity arises.
Mr. Boat-Enthusiast is the type who just loves to strike up conversations with anyone who dares show their face outside. So, as soon as I spotted him from the corner of my eye, I turned off that mower faster than a hiccup and darted inside the camp like a ninja on a mission.
Now, don’t get me wrong; I wish I could be more like him – outgoing, sociable, and all that jazz. But the truth is, I’m just not wired that way. I’d rather have deep, meaningful conversations than spend my time in shallow waters.
And that is one thing I’m going to miss about alcohol – it made me more social, at least temporarily.
I’m an absolute mess right now. Shaky hands, relentless anxiety, and a complete lack of appetite.
Allan is trying to help by making me a chili dog. It may seem like a simple task, but in my current state, I’m grateful for his support.
Financial stress compounds my anxiety, and the toll of alcoholism on my mental health is overwhelming. I’m craving relief from this stress.
In an attempt to understand my struggles, I stumbled upon a video by Simon Chapple titled “Does Alcohol Cause Depression & Anxiety.” The video sheds light on the relationship between alcohol and mental health, emphasizing how it worsens anxiety and depression. Simon shared his own experiences and it’s a reminder that I’m not alone in this battle.
I’m finally in bed, consumed by guilt over my treatment of Allan. Tears stream down my face as I confront the reality of my alcoholism.
I despise the person I become when liquor takes hold.
Lying here in bed, emotions are still running high. All I want is to be a better person.
To alleviate the guilt and be a good girlfriend, I attempted to send Allan a cute “I love you” gif on Facebook Messenger. But, my involuntary hand spasms led me to select an entirely unromantic gif of rocks in water.
Oh, the joys of uncontrollable tremors. I can’t wait for them to fade away as I journey toward sobriety.
Indulging in a slice of cake while in bed may not be the healthiest coping mechanism, but for a brief moment, it’s lifting my spirits.
I know I can’t rely on food to solve my problems, but when the going gets tough, a sugary treat brings temporary respite.
One step at a time, though.
I know me. I can’t focus on both losing weight and quitting alcohol simultaneously. Not right now, anyway. It would overwhelm me.
As I popped a couple of Tylenols to try and get rid of my throbbing headache, I found myself wondering when my hand tremors, caused by my alcoholism, would finally subside.
Watching a video titled “What Happens To Your Body When You Stop Drinking Alcohol” offered me a glimpse of hope.
This video detailed the various benefits of quitting alcohol, including improved organ function, reduced stress, and decreased cancer risk. These insights push me forward, reminding me that the journey to sobriety is worthwhile.
As I prepare for sleep, I remind myself that even though I’m battling the aftereffects of alcohol, tomorrow is a new day—one where I can begin healing and moving towards a better version of myself.
It won’t be easy, and there will be setbacks along the way, but I’m determined to navigate this journey with courage and resilience.
Goodnight, world. Tomorrow, I’ll wake up ready to take the first step on the path to redemption.
– That Anonymous Artist
Supplementary Info: Stop Drinking Alcohol
If you’ve made it this far in the blog post about stopping drinking alcohol, congratulations on taking the first step towards a healthier and happier life. Whether you’re looking to quit drinking alcohol due to alcohol abuse, alcohol addiction, or simply to lead a more moderate and healthy lifestyle, it’s essential to arm yourself with the right information and advice to ensure a successful journey towards sobriety.
Quitting drinking is a courageous decision, but it might not be easy for everyone. Some people can stop drinking alcohol completely without facing significant challenges, while others may experience alcohol withdrawal symptoms and require medical advice and support during their detox process. Don’t hesitate to consult a doctor or seek professional help if you find yourself struggling during this time.
There are many ways to go about reducing alcohol consumption or completely quitting drinking. Some individuals may opt for a “Dry January” challenge to kickstart their sobriety journey, abstaining from alcohol for an entire month. Others may choose to gradually cut down on their alcohol intake. It’s essential to find what works best for you, as everyone’s path to recovery can be different.
One of the most crucial pieces of advice we can offer is to surround yourself with a supportive network of friends, family, or even a community of people who understand your journey and can offer encouragement and understanding. Share your goals with them, and they can be instrumental in helping you stay on track.
Remember, quitting drinking doesn’t mean missing out on life’s joys. There are plenty of non-alcoholic drinks available nowadays, allowing you to enjoy social gatherings without booze. Additionally, your liver will thank you for the decision you’ve made, as it can now begin its recovery process.
In conclusion, whether you’re aiming for moderate alcohol consumption, reducing alcohol intake, or have completely stopped drinking, the path to sobriety is different for everyone. What matters most is your commitment to a healthier and alcohol-free lifestyle. Stay informed, learn about the risks and benefits, and most importantly, be patient with yourself throughout this process. You’re taking control of your life, and that is something to be proud of. Here’s to your journey towards a happier, healthier, and alcohol-free year and beyond!